Dreamin'

I've got some plans for this little blog...just things that have been floating through my head like daydreams.

First of all, there are several things that I like to blog about- my family, food, thoughts about whatever random thing strikes my fancy, and home decor/DIY projects (however amateur they may be :). So I was thinking that it might be helpful if I organize this little blog and make categories...like those blogs that have tabs at the top so that those peeps who read my blog to check up on the fam can just read family updates and skip my little projects. And for those who don't care that I have kids that do cute things (ha! as if that applies to any of you ;) but would rather get some mediocre ideas on painting something can skip over the "my kid totally made a snow angel today!! He's growing up and I'm having a melt down!" stuff can find that super easily. Yes?? 

Now admittedly the lowest grade I got in my whole scholarly career was in computer systems and I'm completely incompetent when it comes to anything techy so this dream may take a while to become reality. So if you have any suggestions or helpful nudges in the right direction (i.e. a website or tutorial you know of that is particularly helpful for blog design dummies) I would be uber grateful for them all. 

I'm not interested in making this a big time blog or anything, I would just like to make some small changes to make my life and your life on my blog easier. Cheers!

Some comparative thoughts

I had a realization this morning. I'm a writer- I write when I'm frustrated, when I want to remember something, when I'm confused- it helps me organize my thoughts instead of it all getting jumbled in my head. So here goes.

 As I was studying a talk from an Ensign my thoughts started going off on a tangent like they normally do and suddenly the question came to me, why do I always compare myself? Why do I compare myself as if my talents, abilities, style, IQ, value increase or decrease based on who I'm comparing myself to? When did my own progression become a ratio based on determined by others? I have often read others blogs or observed friends or strangers and thought, they are a domestic, patient mother of 4 with a booming party planning business on the side. I'm a fairly domestic, striving for patience mother of 2 but have no booming business to help pay the bills. I'm doing pretty good. OR- that lady has 3 kids, has a tush and tummy tight as Jillian's, has a lovely clean home and extensive talents. Geez. I'm a horrible person. OR {even worse!}- I swear that lady hasn't brushed her hair in a week and she has no social life. I ROCK! 

Seriously??! What a skewed perception of my own worth. Why do I strive to achieve someone else's talents, abilities, even physical appearance as if they determine my potential? I realized today that under those false pretenses I sell myself short- not because the other person's personal best is less than mine, but because we are all blessed with different talents, abilities and life missions that make us unique and useful in the eternal scheme of things. What a weight is lifted off our shoulders as we realize we are not in a competition, but assessing our own personal weaknesses to strengthen and our strengths to help the Kingdom of God on earth progress. We only have to worry about ourselves! Whew! So much extra time and brain space just presented itself. 

This is not the only time I have been hit by this realization. As I thought about it this morning I remembered several other times I have written down the same thoughts in my General Conference notes, journal, RS notes. Every time it hits me like I've never thought of it before but its just the profound, life-changing attitude and mindset that I need to adopt to be fully productive and happy. And then I forget about it a few days later and life is more stressful and unhappy than it needs to be until I remember this wonderful reality again. So how do I actually incorporate it into my character? No more comparing, unrealistic expectations and shallow judgement on myself...sounds awesome. Ideas? Have you adopted this liberating reality? How do you go about it? Its so easy to get sucked in to the overwhelming popularity of the idea of compared worth. or compared style. or compared abilities. I'm going to write
Am I doing my personal best?? 

on a piece of paper and hang it on the fridge. Simple reminders like that work for me. What works for you??

Thoughtful Thursday

I love traditions. They make me happy. So I'm starting a new tradition on my blog called Thoughtful Thursday. Basically I'll just post a thought, quote, scripture, epiphany -something that stood out to me and touched my heart over the week. Without further ado, here's todays~

This is a season to be strong. It is a time to move forward without hesitation, knowing well the meaning, the breadth, and the importance of our mission. It is a time to do what is right regardless of the consequences that might follow. It is a time to be found keeping the commandments. It is a season to reach out with kindness and love to those in distress and to those who are wandering in darkness and pain. It is a time to be considerate and good, decent and courteous toward one another in all of our relationships. In other words, to become more like Christ.

-Gordon B. Hinckley

Maybe just smile

My boys are sick today so I stayed home from church since Kiel is teaching the Priesthood lesson. After wasting a lil bit (Ok fine! A lot!) of time on pinterest I decided to dedicate at least some of the time I would have been at church to strengthening my spiritual self at home. I looked up the latest General Conference talks and decided to read You Matter to Him by Pres. Uchtdorf. What a blessing.

My life has been simply craptastic lately. Ok maybe not so much my life as my attitude. And that's crappy with a capital K. If you don't get that then you don't know my Grandma. Don't worry about it. Just move on.

Granted, there are some crappy things in my life that I've blown up into a generalization of the above sentence: I have a crappy life. The reality is I don't have a crappy life. I have a wonderful, blessed life! I just needed a reminder. Isn't God so good like that?? When you feel so slow, cold, emotionless, lost, weak...our Savior sends a little love note saying, "Hey, I'm still here. I still love you. I remember your name. I know personally what your going through and how deeply it hurts. But you know what? You still have all these beautiful things around you. Open your eyes and see them. Feel the love of your family and friends- they're there...I promise. But sometimes you have to pick up the phone and call them. And maybe this moment is actually really crappy. And that's OK. But there's a whole life time ahead of you that is unwritten. It can be as beautiful and happy as you make it. And I'll be cheering you on! Go make a happy life!" 

Ok, maybe God doesn't use words like "crappy" but I seriously felt all that. Sometimes, and especially when Kiel is so consumed with school and I become a single and (quite literally due to a lack of transportation) stay-at-home mom 24/7 and I get tired of it. Yes I believe that being a mother is God's greatest calling for women. I believe that it can be the most fulfilling experience if you put your whole heart into it. But I would not be honest if I didn't say that sometimes it.just.sucks. There are times when my wonderful calling of wife and mother feels like one long day that is repeated over and over. That day is filled with little tantrums, soggy diapers, laundry that is flung around the house instead of tidy stacks in drawers, and dishes piled around the counters splattered with evolving food that could constitute as its own developing race. That sucks. There are times when kids are cranky and I'm cranky and naps are cried through and dinner is pushed around the plate or thrown at the walls instead of eaten. That kinda sucks too. There are times when my best friend/eternal spouse and I can't manage to say a single nice, positive, and encouraging thing to each other all day- and the things we do say are several decimals above normal. That really sucks. The bottom line is sometimes life sucks and we sink in those moments thinking that our whole life is comprised of discouraging, failing moments. 

And then my Savior throws me the life-line and pulls me in. And wraps His arms around me and warms me up. I had one of those experience today. Yesterday, today, and maybe even tomorrow might be difficult, painful even. But Christ is with me through all of it. I can choose to face the bad with an optimistic attitude while embracing the good. I can even see a glimmer of lights in my future (those lights look suspiciously like Christmas lights!). Life is good- even when it sucks. If you're feeling on top of the world go help someone who's not feel more on up there with ya. If you're feeling down maybe helping someone else is still a good idea...who knows, it might be the solution you've been looking for. I'm going to go take my own advice now that I've found the motivation and courage to do so. Thanks Pres. Uchtdorf for the sweet reminder :)

Here is Pres. Uchtdorf's full message.

I feel...validated?? :) :/ :(

My camera is MIA again so in the mean time I wanted to ask all you Wise Women what you think about validating your childrens' feelings. I was recently at a conference and there was a focus on this topic and I never really thought about it but now I'm intrigued.
I grew up in a home where I was told if someone offended me, GET OVER IT. If I'm just having a bad day, GET OVER IT. If my sister made me mad and called me a fat piece of crap, GET OVER IT. Basically I wasn't allowed to have a bad day and if I did I was supposed to keep it to myself and fake everyone out that it was the best day ever!!
Do I feel like this made me a recluse, confused, unable to own my feelings and control them?
Quite the opposite.
I am actually very grateful that my parents took this approach with me. I feel like I don't waste a lot of time trying to decide if so or so meant offense and how I am going to deal with that. I just GET OVER IT. There's a lot more time to be happy when you aren't worrying about being worried.
And lets be honest, who enjoys being with someone who is constantly down or saying negative things about themselves or others and how someone offended them (again!!)? I sure don't. It makes me want to say just GET OVER IT!! So what if that person said/did/meant that?? Are you really going to let it ruin your day when chances are they didn't even mean it that way? I guess some people just need the drama...
So you can imagine my surprise when I was told that I need to sit my child down every time he throws a tantrum or says he's mad about something or at someone or someone hurt his feelings and talk out his feelings with him. Doesn't the regular practice of exploring one's feelings make one an emotional hypochondriac?? Isn't it so much easier and, well, happier, just being happy? I get that its not easy just getting over every negative thing in your life, and sometime its not even possible without professional help, but in the little day to day crisis' isn't it just better to try to GET OVER IT?
Unfortunately, the just GET OVER IT method isn't working so hot with my almost-3-year-old. So I'm thinking maybe the feelings validating method might be the answer.

Here are some pros of validating I see:

1. it helps children and parents understand the real emotion and issue.
2. the child is more honest and open.
3. they take responsibility for their emotions so they can fix it.

I feel I have already discussed the cons. Which brings me to one more point. Although I think the GET OVER IT method worked great for me as a child and I still apply it to myself when I'm feeling particularly irked or offended about something (gretchen, your over-reacting. Just GET OVER IT and salvage the rest of your day) but I need my husband to validate my feelings. When he has said or done something to hurt me I expect him to own up to it and apologize. I think marriage would be the worse if spouses didn't validate each other's feelings. And if we expect our feelings to be validated, don't you think our children deserve our validation as well? Isn't that the respectful and appropriate thing to do in a family?
So, if I haven't totally confused and offended you yet, I want to know what YOU think about all this. Do you think its better to validate your children's feelings or just GET OVER IT? And why? Are there certain circumstances that would call for one or the other? How were you raised and what has worked in your own homes with your children?? Feel free to throw out suggestions, stories, theories, threats for offending you (at me only please), opinions...I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Shaved Legs Therapy

As I was getting dressed for church this morning and thinking about the miserable snow I was going to have to drudge through to get to church and then remembering that I hadn't shaved my pasty white legs in a week, I wore my knee high boots and my past knee length skirt.

Have I mentioned I HATE snow??
sure, it has its amazing aesthetic qualities but its just not worth the pain of bundling up and wiping off the car and praying the minute I get in the car that I'll make it to my destination in one, un-compact piece and finding the shoes with extra tred anytime I want to relieve some cabin fever.
Its just NOT worth it.
And it makes me k-r-o-s.

My one demand when we were filling out law school apps was that we end up going somewhere with no snow. I don't care if the summers are 120 degrees. I'd rather wipe off sweat from the scorching sun than sweat from bundling up to survive the freezing walk to the car only to suddenly burst into flames the minute the heater kicks into gear.

So what does this have to do with Shaved Legs Therapy??
Well, as I was contemplating my miserable lot in life being stuck in this snow wrecked state, I thought about flowers, and green growing things, and swimming, and feeling thin and sexy in a swim suit.
These thoughts might have also stemmed from feeling particularly fat and pregnant and white and hairy as well...
Anywho, I suddenly had the urge to feel smooth and sexy and swimsuit ready! Danged if I was going sit in bed while my legs that once made me proud grew forests amid white flakiness!!!
So I took a bath and did the best shave job I've had in 3 years.
I mean, I shaved in all those little ankle grooves that are scarred from dozens of unfortunate razor accidents,
I shaved all the way up my legs and behind my knees and the little tendon parts on both sides that always make me nervous.
I really vented my pregnant winter frustrations into this and I can honestly say I have rarely had a cleaner shave or a more peaceful set of mind.


Ah the therapeutic qualities of shaved legs.

Happy Friday/Halloween!

Today I...

have this song stuck in my head
am looking for this and this {for a cheaper price}
am reading this
am working on this
am cooking this
and watching this
and doing this
Have a spook-tacular weekend!!

Excuses Excuses!

Hi ya'll (I'm watching Paula on the cooking channel at the moment...)! I'm sad that I haven't blogged for awhile but there's a few reasons for that. The first one being that all the posts I want to write include pictures that I want to take and my camera charger is MIA! There will be some blogging overload once I find that charger...
The second reason I haven't blogged in awhile is that I feel that no one reads my blog now that I have gone private so I don't quite feel the same excitement as before to get on here and muse and vent and babble and post pictures because I don't feel like I'm being heard anyway.
My third reason for not blogging is that things have been crazier than usual around here. We had some fam come for General Conference and we did a lot of hanging out and now my two little sisters are staying with me for the next two weeks so we have just been...watching TV.
Which leads me to my fourth and final reason. I have been sick. Very very sick. I just have the basic flu/cold (I hope!) that has been going around and my sister and Kiel now have it as well. So we have been watching movies and TV around the clock. Granted, all these excuses only apply to the past week but thats how far back I can remember these days anyway.
However, while I have been watching TV 24/7 I have been reading and rereading all your blog posts so keep them coming! Don't follow my bad example...I love to hear how all my friends and family are doing and what you are up to these days!

Its Magic!

I think this is seriously one of the coolest things ever!!

Predicaments

{Despite what I have said in the past} I officially HATE shopping!!!

~rewind a few hours~

I decided, with the encouragement of my husband, that it was high time I updated my wardrobe. I just love fall and the cozy chicness of fall fashion. The last two falls/winters I was pregnant, nursing, and overall uncomfortable with my body...aka not out shopping for new clothes. Now that things have settled down more into a routine and I've had a while to work off some of that baby weight I decided the time had come to update and add some modern flair to my style! So I set out with confidence, credit card, and shopping buddy/mentor (my very cute and fashionable sis-in-law Natalie!) to find all the perfect pieces to make me feel and look fabulous!! However, those pieces eluded me. I searched just about every rack and found a strollerfull of lovely tops but none of them fit me! They all just looked awkward on me! I left the first store with just one pair of rockin brown boots that I absolutely love but no tops. I felt my confidence droop a little but I still had hope for the next store, Forever 21. Love that store!! And when has it not delivered?? I was sure to find something there.
Natalie and I divided (took seperate racks and threw everything cute into the stroller) and conquered. That is to say, after trying on a dozen tops I finally found ONE, just one shirt that fit me and looked so cute. And the best part about it? It was on sale for 3.99! So I gave up on shirt shopping and instead stocked up on some belts and jewelry.

I love that one shirt I got but...3 hours?? How depressing. Maybe I should put my money towards a gym pass and get serious about that and then go shopping. But I think I'm done with the cruel reality of new shirts, sizes and dressing room mirrors for awhile! Maybe if I cinch up the waist on some of my bigger shirts with belts that will work for awhile.
So, goodbye shopping! Hello gym!

Note: I know I've fallen terribly behind on blogging while touring Japan, moving into my new apartment, and getting my house in order but I have several posts I've been excited about coming up!...as soon as I can find some of that precious, never there when you need it time.

ThEsE aRe A FeW oF My FAvOrITE tHinGs!

MUSIC

INTERIOR DESIGN

MY FAVORITE PARFUME: Ralph Lauren Blue

BROADWAY

MY FAMILY

FLOWERS!!!

My Bedroom Flowers...

My Bathroom Flowers...

My Living Room Flowers...

...And My Kitchen Flowers

SHOPPING

SANGRIA SCENTSY

A GOOD BOOK

I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad!

Blessings

After a week of extreme stress and anxiety, I am so relieved to finally feel some of that lifted. Last Saturday Kiel and I were on a date when we recieved a phone call from my parents. Somehow they broke the news to us that my mom's liver was completely engolfed in cancer. The news came as a total shock; she is only in her 40s and still has 6 little kids at home. None of us were expecting it. To tell the truth when they called and said they had something to tell us the first thing I thought was that they were going to have ANOTHER baby! I was so wrong. So after a couple of very difficult days and after talking with my sisters in NY, we decided that we were going to go ahead and go home to be together and deal with this together. So we got tickets and flew to Arizona yesterday morning. It has been such a blessing! It is so wonderful to see my mother so happy and healthy looking, you would never know anything was terribly wrong. She is the one holding our hands and telling us everything is great and exactly how it should be or this wouldn't be happening at all. It is such a blessing to be able to be here and feel her positive influence even in the midst of such a huge trial. She has been an amazing example and has tought me so many lessons through her example but I think that she is teaching me the most right now by placing all of her faith so happily in Heavenly Father at this time when I know I would be freaking out and without a doubt considering all of the negative possibilities of the future. But she doesn't dwell on the negative at all--she just keeps saying how happy she is that we are all here right now and her only concern is for how it is affecting us. She is just so unselfish!

When my parents told us about mom's cancer they also told us that they were planning a two week trip to Hawaii so we could go and spend time together enjoying eachother and making memories. We have always wanted to go to Hawaii as a family (my parents never invited me for some reason every other time they've gone...) and right now seemed like the perfect oppertunity. We are leaving for Hawaii on the 3rd and coming back exactly two weeks later...isn't that great?! We will be on Oahu and Maui and maybe visit a few other islands. However...as great as going to Hawaii would normally be it was overshadowed by the reality of the situation. But we were blessed again today! My mom had a biopsy yesterday and recieved the results today. She didn't have the form of cancer the Dr thought she had which would have given her a few weeks, or a few months at best. Rather she has a form of cancer which is a very slow-growing cancer. That presented the possibility of months or maybe even years rather than weeks...what a total relief!! However, we also found out that the cancer is in several other organs and areas so a liver transplant is no longer an option. So we will wait for a few more tests and see just how quickly the tumors are growing. And although we might only have a few weeks to enjoy together, we might even have a few years!! I will enjoy Hawaii so much more knowing that! What a blessing!!!!! What a blessing to be surrounded with family that makes this so much easier! Aunt Christine is taking care of the whole Hawaii trip for us and aunt Jenise flew in to spend the weekend here and she always makes everything more fun...Its just so great!

I really want to thank everyone for their prayers in our behalf, especially my mother's. I know it makes such a difference and I have already seen the power prayer has whether its an answer as we would most like it or whether its an answer of comfort...I am so blessed to have the assurance that comes from knowing there is someone who loves us so much and is acutely aware of our every need and desire and wants so bad to give us what we want but knows what we need and always guides us in the way that is ultimately best. Thank you so much for your prayers and support!

25 Random Things About Gretchen Petramalo Willmore

I have been tagged for this thing at least 23 times so on this day of boredom I am going to fill it out. I guess I tag all of you so if you were just dying to fill it out here's your opportunity to jump on the bandwagon with the millions of others who have already done so. I look forward to reading yours!~*~

1. When I was little I wanted to have 12 children. Now that I have one I want even more than that!
2. I sold my first art piece when I was 10 to my uncle for $100. It was a charcoal drawing of Goofy.
3. I love to sing more than anything in the world but you can not pay me enough to sing a solo. However, if there was a second person singing with me I would happily sing at the next presidential inauguration.
4. I have already designed my future house and it includes an indoor basketball court because I like watching basketball...but Kiel vetoed that idea when I told him about it last week...
5. I got my Associates degree when I was 18.
6. I love the sun and hate the snow. My ideal afternoon includes soaking up sun and sipping lemonade.
7. I was officially (on a knee with a ring) proposed to twice before I said YES!!! to Kiel.
8. When I was younger my family would spend 3 or 4 months during the summer traveling and I can't wait till Kiel and I can to do that with our family!
9. I have moved 7 times during my life.
10. I dropped out of highschool my junior year.
11. I have never cussed in my life.
12. I am deathly afraid of the ocean. I will only go waist deep and that's still freaky.
13. When I chose my major my only demand was that I didn't have to take math for it. So I ended up doing linguistics.
14. I used to be a ballerina. For a year.
15. I have started writing two books and one day at least one will be published.
16. The thing I hate doing most is cleaning the kitchen. I'd rather clean the bathroom.
17. I am OCD about making the bed in the morning.
18. If I could go back and change my major I would major in interior design.
19. My favorite TV show is American Idol and my favorite TV show to watch with Caleb is Arthur.
20. I am a huge PHX Suns fan...but I'm trying to switch over to the Jazz...Its a hard transition.
21. I want a great pyranees when I grow up and Kiel wants a min schnauzer. My dog will eat his dog for a snack.
22. I have never watched an R-rated movie in my life.
23. I have found out I'm not very republican but I'm DEFINITELY not democrat and will never be...so I guess I'm part of the opinionated political group of 1.
24. I switch between ultra health food conscious and a junk-food junkie about every 3 weeks.
25. We have saved approximately $140 since we got married by me cutting Kiel's hair.