Maybe just smile

My boys are sick today so I stayed home from church since Kiel is teaching the Priesthood lesson. After wasting a lil bit (Ok fine! A lot!) of time on pinterest I decided to dedicate at least some of the time I would have been at church to strengthening my spiritual self at home. I looked up the latest General Conference talks and decided to read You Matter to Him by Pres. Uchtdorf. What a blessing.

My life has been simply craptastic lately. Ok maybe not so much my life as my attitude. And that's crappy with a capital K. If you don't get that then you don't know my Grandma. Don't worry about it. Just move on.

Granted, there are some crappy things in my life that I've blown up into a generalization of the above sentence: I have a crappy life. The reality is I don't have a crappy life. I have a wonderful, blessed life! I just needed a reminder. Isn't God so good like that?? When you feel so slow, cold, emotionless, lost, weak...our Savior sends a little love note saying, "Hey, I'm still here. I still love you. I remember your name. I know personally what your going through and how deeply it hurts. But you know what? You still have all these beautiful things around you. Open your eyes and see them. Feel the love of your family and friends- they're there...I promise. But sometimes you have to pick up the phone and call them. And maybe this moment is actually really crappy. And that's OK. But there's a whole life time ahead of you that is unwritten. It can be as beautiful and happy as you make it. And I'll be cheering you on! Go make a happy life!" 

Ok, maybe God doesn't use words like "crappy" but I seriously felt all that. Sometimes, and especially when Kiel is so consumed with school and I become a single and (quite literally due to a lack of transportation) stay-at-home mom 24/7 and I get tired of it. Yes I believe that being a mother is God's greatest calling for women. I believe that it can be the most fulfilling experience if you put your whole heart into it. But I would not be honest if I didn't say that sometimes it.just.sucks. There are times when my wonderful calling of wife and mother feels like one long day that is repeated over and over. That day is filled with little tantrums, soggy diapers, laundry that is flung around the house instead of tidy stacks in drawers, and dishes piled around the counters splattered with evolving food that could constitute as its own developing race. That sucks. There are times when kids are cranky and I'm cranky and naps are cried through and dinner is pushed around the plate or thrown at the walls instead of eaten. That kinda sucks too. There are times when my best friend/eternal spouse and I can't manage to say a single nice, positive, and encouraging thing to each other all day- and the things we do say are several decimals above normal. That really sucks. The bottom line is sometimes life sucks and we sink in those moments thinking that our whole life is comprised of discouraging, failing moments. 

And then my Savior throws me the life-line and pulls me in. And wraps His arms around me and warms me up. I had one of those experience today. Yesterday, today, and maybe even tomorrow might be difficult, painful even. But Christ is with me through all of it. I can choose to face the bad with an optimistic attitude while embracing the good. I can even see a glimmer of lights in my future (those lights look suspiciously like Christmas lights!). Life is good- even when it sucks. If you're feeling on top of the world go help someone who's not feel more on up there with ya. If you're feeling down maybe helping someone else is still a good idea...who knows, it might be the solution you've been looking for. I'm going to go take my own advice now that I've found the motivation and courage to do so. Thanks Pres. Uchtdorf for the sweet reminder :)

Here is Pres. Uchtdorf's full message.